Is it really me

Posted: November 25, 2017 in poetry
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That you look at with such love in your eyes

Tell me, is it really me that you say you want to grow old with

That you claim to have so much beauty within and without

Is it really me, that makes you feel safe and relaxed

That gives you the strength and the push for a better tomorrow

Please, tell me again, as am finding it hard to believe, that it is I who gives you the reason and hope for life and love

That it is really me who receieves all these lovely and priceless gifts of love from you

I am so happy

It really is me.

I am the one your heart beats for!

WaruguruWangeci

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Runaway

Posted: October 20, 2017 in Broken

If I block you out, maybe I will hurt you less

If I see you less, maybe I will love you more

If I need you more, maybe I will drain you out

If I take you out, maybe I will know you deep

If I stay in deep, maybe I will lose myself

If I lose myself, maybe I will lose you

And am not losing you

Am running away instead

No better

Resignation

Posted: October 20, 2017 in Uncategorized

You gave me everything I asked for

You were there for me when you could

You heard me out when I asked

You held me together when I was falling apart

You continously talked me out of crying

And in just a night, with several messages, I pushed you to the wall

Again.

Am very tired. Of anxiety. Thats embedded itself in me.

So I write two words that I desperately asked for

All the 1000 words I have flowing in my mind through to my heart will have to stay

Or maybe they can fit in those two words

When you find the message, maybe you will feel my desparation

Maybe you will know its my resignation

My sad resignation

Years ago

Posted: October 20, 2017 in Dreams, Memories, Uncategorized

I dreamt of many things, maybe three

I dreamt of being the best mother in the world, supermom

I dreamt of being the best wife in the world, superwife

I dreamt of endless happiness, supermom and superwife..obviously

I dreamt for a long time.

I was young. I was whole.

I am older. I am broken

I don’t dream anymore.

High heels and a cappuccino

Posted: August 6, 2017 in poetry
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At first I felt angry at the world

Everything should work out exactly how I wish

This is my third day, I think I suffered minor depression

When this happens, everyone and everything is at fault. For a moment

Then it’s all me at fault

Here I go again

Judging myself harshly

I should be perfect. Why do I make mistakes? Why don’t I break bad habits?

When still in bed feeling sorry for myself today, I had this brilliant idea

It’s absolutely foolish to dwell on mistakes

So I picked my highest black heels and got myself a cappuccino

Why should I prevent myself the joy of swaying my hips allover town

But wait, that’s not the only reason

It heals my soul

These heels heal my soul

And a cappuccino on this bench with the breeze and noises from businesses around, makes everything better

This is another chapter. I almost know how it ends, but am hoping to prove myself wrong

Well…
– WaruguruWangeci


Not like her or her

Posted: July 21, 2017 in poetry

I tend to leave my nails unpolished

And when I polish them, I tend to leave them chipped

Sometimes I don’t apply lipstick on my lips

A moisturizer works just as good.

When I put on lipstick, I leave out details that would turn my lips into magic

Even my hair, I don’t always keep it neat

In fact, I feel wild and free when I don’t comb it

But I love heels! I must admit sandals and flats feel good though

And I love dresses and jeans and bags and makeup and sneakers

You see, I love being a girl!

But I can’t ignore the boy in me

I always wonder how it makes you feel

To see me look different, careless

Not like her or her, whose everything is perfect and neat

Should I be perfect? I mean, I could. I’ve spent a good number of years being perfect but you didn’t see this version of me, did you?

But truth is, a good cologne and some silky lotion is way less effort

If I look like her or her,

Will you love me more? Will you love me less?

If I look like me, free and wild and careless and optionally perfect, will you love me forever?

-WaruguruWangeci

 

Whole again

Posted: July 20, 2017 in poetry

Hey!

When we met I was whole.

Then I wasn’t.

Then I was.

And again I wasn’t.

But now…

Now am whole again.

This is forever love.