Posts Tagged ‘loner’

High heels and a cappuccino

Posted: August 6, 2017 in poetry

At first I felt angry at the world

Everything should work out exactly how I wish

This is my third day, I think I suffered minor depression

When this happens, everyone and everything is at fault. For a moment

Then it’s all me at fault

Here I go again

Judging myself harshly

I should be perfect. Why do I make mistakes? Why don’t I break bad habits?

When still in bed feeling sorry for myself today, I had this brilliant idea

It’s absolutely foolish to dwell on mistakes

So I picked my highest black heels and got myself a cappuccino

Why should I prevent myself the joy of swaying my hips allover town

But wait, that’s not the only reason

It heals my soul

These heels heal my soul

And a cappuccino on this bench with the breeze and noises from businesses around, makes everything better

This is another chapter. I almost know how it ends, but am hoping to prove myself wrong

– WaruguruWangeci


At this party

Posted: June 6, 2017 in poetry
Tags: , ,

She told me she felt lonely.

That her world had suddenly become smaller.

It was a small world, a perfect little small world. With him.

But it had become smaller.

He had made her feel comfortable.

He had hugged her so tight and whispered words so right.

She had become vulnerable.

She had let her guard down.

She had depended on him, fully.

To be her strength. To listen to her. To wipe away her tears.

You see, in her life, she had always been different. Odd. 

She didn’t know her way around people,friendships. 

She had always been alone.

It must have given her the ability to empathize enough.

Her few friends cherished her advice

The same friends had advised her to open up to them as well.

It was hard.

It was so hard. 

She had tried before. She had been disappointed. She had resigned. 

She said she had always been in need though.

That she longed for a time when a soul would listen to her. Empathize. 

She had wished for someone to be her friend. The kind of friend she had been to her friends. The kind that listens then gives them their opinion. Their thoughts.

He had to be that person. He had to be. 

He was almost like her. So she figured he had to be. It was only natural.

But her world become smaller.

She had tried to talk to him. She had been jovial to the idea of a friend who would listen. Empathize.

She had laid out her heart. Severally.

She had made a mistake.

She had assumed he was that friend.

She had not asked if he was. How is that question asked?

He had disappointed her.

He had shut her out.

He had ignored her.

He had deflated her world.

How could she laugh the same?

Smile the same?

Cherish the same?

When the most delicate part of her had been stomped

By him.

How could she accept those hugs, that happy? If they were going to feel different, how could she live with this?

I told her time changes things

She told me that this life, to her, was a big big endless party. To her, he had been the best partner to dance

But her world had become smaller

And she was back at it again.

The wallflower.

At this party. 

Always the wallflower.