I had another one last night

Another emotional breakdown

I keep getting these ones but honestly, I hate them

I made you feel inadequate

I made you feel not enough

But you’re more than enough

And today I could not tell you this

I didn’t know how to

How can these personalities collide like this

How can I love you so much and hurt you so deep

So I decided to keep my distance

To ensure am whole again

Then maybe I can tell you all the words I don’t say

I can tell you those negative words and feelings are all a lie

I don’t want to hurt you

Let me keep my distance

We have a connection

Let it make you understand, make you feel

I still love you,

I always will

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Quote  —  Posted: July 20, 2017 in poetry
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Honey,

They will make you think something is wrong with you

That you’re the problem

Don’t believe them 

It’s a lie

You’re a dime

Quote  —  Posted: July 18, 2017 in poetry

Do heroes cry

Do heroines soak their pillows at night

Who knows where heroes reside

If it’s inside me, 

Who knows which part of me

Do heroes and heroines have blurry eyes

Do tears run down their cheeks 

I’ll stand, I’ll fall, I’ll cry, I’ll try 

Yes, I will be my hero

Even with this tear, I will save myself
– WaruguruWangeci

Quote  —  Posted: July 8, 2017 in poetry
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“You stress too much”

“You let something hang on your mind for a tad bit too long”

“You should just let things go”

“Its not healthy”

But.. isn’t that not giving a damn 
Isn’t that not caring

If I let go of things so fast, isn’t that not putting enough time to solve a problem

If I forget after a couple of days, isn’t that leaving a gap for same future troubles

If I stop thinking about everything that happened, won’t I end up in the same situation over again

What if am just wired that way?

What if I feel safer with memories at the back of my mind?

What if I feed from pain thus the need for constant replay?

Isn’t that scary?

“You can’t change situations so just let go”

I could follow your advice

But isn’t that being cold?

Quote  —  Posted: June 22, 2017 in poetry
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You make me cry, sometimes.

You don’t deny me a hug when I need it.

You don’t lash out words of anger when I become frustrating.

You don’t miss a chance to give me a kiss to bring that smile you love on my face.

You don’t get tired of many things that I do.

You always assure me.

You always say you are there for me.

And you usually are..

You are always patient with me.

You somehow know how to fix me.

That’s why sometimes, you make me cry.

You are good to me. You are very good to me. 

-WaruguruWangeci 

Quote  —  Posted: June 18, 2017 in poetry
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She told me she felt lonely.

That her world had suddenly become smaller.

It was a small world, a perfect little small world. With him.

But it had become smaller.

He had made her feel comfortable.

He had hugged her so tight and whispered words so right.

She had become vulnerable.

She had let her guard down.

She had depended on him, fully.

To be her strength. To listen to her. To wipe away her tears.

You see, in her life, she had always been different. Odd. 

She didn’t know her way around people,friendships. 

She had always been alone.

It must have given her the ability to empathize enough.

Her few friends cherished her advice

The same friends had advised her to open up to them as well.

It was hard.

It was so hard. 

She had tried before. She had been disappointed. She had resigned. 

She said she had always been in need though.

That she longed for a time when a soul would listen to her. Empathize. 

She had wished for someone to be her friend. The kind of friend she had been to her friends. The kind that listens then gives them their opinion. Their thoughts.

He had to be that person. He had to be. 

He was almost like her. So she figured he had to be. It was only natural.

But her world become smaller.

She had tried to talk to him. She had been jovial to the idea of a friend who would listen. Empathize.

She had laid out her heart. Severally.

She had made a mistake.

She had assumed he was that friend.

She had not asked if he was. How is that question asked?

He had disappointed her.

He had shut her out.

He had ignored her.

He had deflated her world.

How could she laugh the same?

Smile the same?

Cherish the same?

When the most delicate part of her had been stomped

By him.

How could she accept those hugs, that happy? If they were going to feel different, how could she live with this?

I told her time changes things

She told me that this life, to her, was a big big endless party. To her, he had been the best partner to dance

But her world had become smaller

And she was back at it again.

The wallflower.

At this party. 

Always the wallflower. 

Quote  —  Posted: June 6, 2017 in poetry
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I don’t even like people

I don’t like fitting in.

I don’t like answering questions.

I don’t even like small talk.

I don’t like the fake laughter,smiles.

I don’t like being bothered. 

I however do like something.

I like peeking into brains. 

Finding all the beauty that lies in unprovoked lines of thought

I like peeking into your brain

Am curious. Intrigued.

I don’t like other people.

I like you.

I want to answer your questions.

I want to laugh and smile and talk with you.

I want to show you my brain. It’s incredible.

Sometimes..

I bring it up, desperately.

When you are to cover what everyone would have input if I let them in..

When you are to fill all that gap..

It ends up downhill.

It’s not fair.

To you

To me. Maybe.

When I want to peek in your brain, let me. I love brains. I love your brain. How can I tell you I only like you? I only let you? 

Will you understand?

Show me your brain,  I will show you mine. The right way. I promise. No more downhill.

I get impatient when am around people.I can’t wait to be alone.

I get impatient when am alone, I can’t wait to be with you.

-WaruguruWangeci

Quote  —  Posted: June 4, 2017 in poetry
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